Fate As It Is.

I am sick ,

And my disease is slowly killing me .

I can't any longer pretend that it's not going to be the end of me. 

All my life I've dreamed of a life full of happiness ,

I possessed some big dreams ,

Now they all seem shattered into thousands of pieces .

Could someone in any way fix the misery sheets ? 

Every night with tears, my eyes bleed.

Deep down , I bear no strength at all

The last time I was happy, never can I recall. 

I still remember the day I got to know how my life would end,

I was crushed beneath the forced smile and told the world that I could fight and I have the required strength.

I promised my soul that Id make each day worthwhile ,

I accepted my fate though it was hard to comprehend.

Every morning I'd set of on a new adventure just to find a reason to smile . 

But now I am growing weak,

I don't even seem to have enough energy to speak. 

El amor , said the love of my life, 

El amor, would you be my wife?

I said I am dying, I can't give you all that you desire, 

El amor , he said, we are meant to be together, if not now then maybe in the world afterlife .

El amor , your love is all that I require.

How could I ever say no? 

I am to die soon does he not know? 

If only some more years from lord I could borrow, 

Sad it is , that I can't do so, my life has to end and he'll be the one to face the worst sorrow. 

I said el amor, yes. 

And the next thing I hear is when I am in heaven, 

Rest in peace , I heard him address.

Found none to blame.

And then I found none to blame, 

Hurt and broke I realized it was me who played the wrong game , 

Undoubtedly, I did it all for fame , 

It was luxury in the beginning, 

On everyone's tongue was my name.

I was the star that brightly shone,

Them people did once wish to see me, 

I was one big brat celebrity , 

I had a home in the L.A city , 

All my fake friends thought I was witty,

Never had time for my family that was so perfect and pretty . 

Now do I realize , 

After so many tears shed by my eyes, 

How precious was time , 

Friends and family never criticize , 

So into me I was for Years and years, 

So shallow I had become that I possessed no fears . 

Now do I realize , 

After loosing the real deal , 

How my mom waited for me every night and cooked my favorite meal ,

Now do I realize , 

How my siblings thought of me as their role model , 

But I'd care 'bout nothing but me and mine beer bottle.

Now do I realize , 

After they are all gone , 

They were the brightest spotlights that made me shine.

Now do I realize , 

After they are all gone , 

None will I find to blame ,

It was me who played the wrong game .

It was me crazy for fame.

Now do I realize, 

I've long lost the best prize. 

Now do I realize.

God's Help.

Worst incident, was it ? 

Complete tragedy or misery ? 

Or was it the most Horrible nightmare you've ever seen.

But now when you think of it , 

You know , 

You made it through. 

Though you had no idea about what you should do ,

And yet you over came the problems all by yourself, 

Though you couldn't find anyone to help or give you a clue .

What, why , how, and so many other such questions arose every now and then. 

You prayed day and night, 

You felt as though you had no more strength to fight , 

Every single day when you woke up you called for God to help, 

Just when you almost gave up, 

A pretty little angel had come to you, 

Such a fairy tale did it seem then. 

Happy and excited like a 5 year old , 

Forget all your problems the fairy told, 

Stand up for yourself and have enough strength to fight for your own.

For the first time after ages your heart had felt so light,

You looked up at the sky and smiled.

Knelt down on your knees and to God you thanked, 

How blessed you had felt that for your help THE ALMIGHTY had an angel sent. 

With Confidence regained and faith reassured , 

On your own with a smile all the problems you had then dealt .