This is way too hard for me,
Way harder than I thought it would ever be,
Be it a good day ,
Or be it the worse,
It doesn't matter anymore .
Ask me why?
Its all because my happiness is on fire now.
Gone are the days when I was truly happy,
This life of mine consists of events that often make me unhappy.
Every day, every hour, every minute, I'd try ,
Just to hold my tears back,
But it just wouldn't happen and I'd go somewhere dark and start to cry.
I really néed to know why I am never satisfied.
What is it that my life lacks?
Will I never be happy?
Is my life never going to change ?
Just the thought of it is so, so, very sickening ,
It makes me more than afraid to imagine a future in which a sad , lonely life I'll be living.
Do happy ever afters exist only in fairy tales ?
Will I never be able to see days where I am surrounded by joy ?
There has to be a story behind these dark gloomy days,
Some mystery ought to exist,
The Sun will shine , that's what they all say,
Your life would be fantastic , just wait for some more days.
They asked me to believe those " oh so fake hopes" ,
I am no fool,
Nor am I a kid anymore,
I understand, and I do know, how tragic life now is.
But this weak heart of mine, does believe, yes, it still hopes that some miracle will change all this.